Dear Hazel,

Is it OK if I call you Hazel? I love it best when I soak you up in a sponge and I squeeze it out all over me after a long, hard day in the sun. I let you drench my whole body with your cool, refreshing juice. It is just so great when I let you soak my head and drip down all over my face and shoulders and back.

You are just what I need when I am so hot I can’t stand it anymore.

You’ve always been there for me. So long I can’t remember when we first got together. You are so natural. I love your consistency! Your constancy! Your loyalty! I’ll be loyal to you forever!

Thanks for being there for me!

Love ya,

Jim