Remembering Dad -
(June 1, 1992) Today, my father died. I had wished that I would be able to tell
him all that I had to say before he would leave us. Everyone wishes they had a
chance to say... but then it is too late!
At least I had the chance to hear him say he loved me and I said the same to him. This happened last June when I was moving from Buffalo for the first time in my 30 years.
Sons have a difficult time telling their fathers that they love him. They spend most of the adolescent years rebelling against their father's authority. Sons don't want their fathers telling them what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. This was especially true for me.
Sons also feel like they have to have that manly exterior; not let their feelings show! Such a waste of bountiful feelings on nothing more than a fallacy.
My father was stubborn, hard-headed, thought he was emotionally independent, but actually in dire need of an emotional release. He would cry when watching movies that most people wouldn't find sentimental and he would try to hold back the tears thinking that nobody knew he was crying.
I know these things about my father so well because I am just like my father. I am stubborn, hard-headed, independent thinking, and lonely. Inside, I cry watching movies that aren't even meant to be sentimental.
I hope my father knows all these things about me; because I am as proud to have him as a father as he was to have me for a son.
I Love You Dad !!!
Those were the best times!
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© JAK - 2006